Three score years and ten is a daunting number as we count our years around the sun. In some generations it has been thought to be a full lifetime. My mother had a stroke when she was my age, lingering for almost three years, limited in mind and body. As I approach my seventieth birthday in January, I have experienced an anxiety, indeed, almost a paralysis of spirit, as I realize I have reached that milestone year. I have been spending a lot of energy fearing that my own life might follow the pattern of my mother’s. To avoid the feelings and anxiety, I was spending hours playing games on my phone. I was numb to the possibilities of each day, rather than being authentically alive with things yet to learn and experience. I wanted to change the thought pattern that kept me from living fully in the moment of the time I have. I have chosen to begin each day by bowing my head below my heart to remind myself that for all the fabrications and complications my brain can invent, my heart has its own wisdom. I can give the moments I have this day to that wisdom, praying that I grow in love and light, and give to the winds useless fears that will not add one second to my days. Through daily prayer and meditation I am free of such needless abuse of joyful living.
Image credit: Lurline S. DuPree
